


Quiet, painful thoughts

by WolfArcana



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: F/M, Implied solby, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 08:58:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18028736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfArcana/pseuds/WolfArcana
Summary: Sam contemplates Colby and his relationship.





	Quiet, painful thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> My first Solby fanfic! I hope someone enjoys this cause this fic was meant to be completely different. Anyway, this story was supposed to be them being platonic boyfriends but then Kat said no so here's what we get.  
> This was meant to be shorter but whatever. I'm not the greatest at grammar so I hope this doesn't offend to many people.

Sometimes Sam likes to sit somewhere quiet. Maybe with some headphones and music or just under some shade. He'll think about the things Colby and him get up to and what they'll do next. 

Sometimes, during his rare quiet moments Colby will stumble upon him and he'll whisk him away to the hectic life they've built side by side. Other times when Colby see's him, he'll grab his laptop and sit down next to him editing their shenanigans.

Sam things the best thing about Colby is how easy it is for them to support the other with only their company.

On days that are slow and exhausting (whether from editing or the day after long recording.) He'll think about how Colby and he got to their point in their careers. Hell, thier lives. How they spent hours, days and months working to the bone for a few minutes of comedy.

They love their fans and always will but Colby and him won't ever tell them the stress it causes them, the times anxiety really getting to them or even just the fear that race's through them everytime they hear about a fan not bring okay. Most of his quiet days are spent in thought like this.

However, just sometimes he'll let his thoughts wonder to how if Colby and him were any different they'd be so good together. It hurts knowing no matter anything he's not gay and the fact Colbys the same. Even after all the long talks, the times spent crying to each other, the little glance at the other making sure the others okay.

He loves Colby. Even if it's hard yet so so easy. It's impossible to stop. He's never asked Colby how he loves him. Sam doesn't doubt Colby when he says he loves him. What he doubts is the way he loves him. 

Sam will never like Colby sexualy. They both tried to. It was one of the most painful things they'd both been through because at the end of the day they aren't gay. Not because they say they aren't but because they just don't find the others body sexualy attractive. Even on the one time they tried.

Colby is Sam's life. It's why he can always say it's him and Colby against the world. 

Sometimes, Sam wishes he could be what Colby need and not in a sexual way. He's noticed over the year's how much Colby's grown but also how much he's hidden himself away. He'll do his best to draw them back out of him. Sometimes, he'll succeed. Sometimes, he doesn't. After he's done all he can Colby will continue what he was doing with the state of mind that wears him down. Before he goes he'll give Sam shoulder a pat. Sam thinks Colby see's through him.

When thoughts of Colby get to much (the what it's, the maybe's, the wishes and the tears.) He'll think of Kat. The beautiful girlfriend who chose him despite their lackluster introduction. The way she'll laugh, the way she sing, the way she trust him to help whenever she needs it. It helps the heartache Colby brings to him. Even though it's not Colby's fault.

Katrina knows everything about Colby and me. Even though the first 2 years I didn't want to say anything. One day she just asked after a day we'd felt exhausted from. Just a little "what really are you and Colby?" And in that night I told her everything.

After that she didn't talk to me for 4 days. The whole time I stressed and worried. Colby kept trying to help me but at that moment in time I blamed him for the situation I was in. I pushed him the furthest away since our shared apartment day's. 

When I walked in the house from a day at the gym she was their. I was sure she'd brake up with me. She told me she thought about it but decided to stay with me because I had been honest. In fact she was sorry for me. 

From their my life became Colby and Katrina. Colby would come first for me. Even when I try to show otherwise.

My quiet days come less and less now. Colby and I talk more but never about what needs to be said most. It's okay though cause I'm sure even apart it'll still be us against the world


End file.
